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Sextra
Credit
At Rink Write Dot Com, we are pleased to announce that in a
gala ceremony held this past week at the corporate
headquarters of Ether Entertainment, a marble statue was...
erected. It features Mary Kay Letourneau, embracing her proud
successors, Debbie Lafave and Pamela Rogers,
and serves to commemorate all the
hot female teachers who are giving their students, male and
female, a REAL reason to stay in school. To all of you
tawdry teachers, this is just our way of saying “Keep Our
Youth Cumming”!
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CARRIE McCANDLESS
Her age: 29
“Victim’s” age: 17
Teacher’s curriculum: Social
Studies... taken to a new level... and cheerleading coach.
The lowdown:
Munchable McCandless was the only adult chaperone on
a school planned overnight camping trip last October after a
male chaperone cancelled at the last minute. There’d
apparently been some flirtation with the young lad prior,
because once McCandless volunteered, they started calling
and text messaging each other, a whopping 76 messages in one
day alone, where, in one exchange, the boy wrote that he was
cold, and Carrie responded, "Just pretend you're here
sweating with me."
Yeah, baby! During the overnight trip, Carrie
brought a bottle of Jack Daniels, and it was rumored that
they smoked a little pot as they constantly snuck away from
the other campers in the group, who were no doubt roasting
another kind of wiener around the campfire while singing “Kumbaya”.
Unfortunately, we regret to report that the dirty details of
their sexual romp are rather sketchy, however, it is known
that the two were ramming tongues down each other’s throats
in the parking lot of Sam’s Club while supplies were being
bought for the trip, and that there was a lot of good old
fashioned dry-humping that night. Oh, and as a final
kicker... Cuddly-Carrie’s husband was the school principal!
Hot rating:
Ahhh, what man doesn’t remember those teen years of spewing
into his tightie-whities. Still, the lack of any real tawdry
details leads us to believe that the humpy-dumpty was as far
as it went. A more sordid story to go with her good looks
would have given Carrie a 10, but we feel fair in still
giving her a solid 8.
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CAMEO PATCH
Her age: 29
“Victim’s” age: 17
Teacher’s curriculum: Substitute teacher way hotter
than Peggy Hill.
The lowdown: The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines
Cameo as a brief appearance, and
Patch as an area distinct from that around it.
This then translates to a honey with a small area of pubic
hair, perhaps in the shape of a welcome mat or Hitler
moustache... as well as making a GREAT name for a porno
actress. Here’s another 29 year old teacher getting down...
and we mean that literally... with a 17 year old student.
The pair knew each other from the classroom, then met at a
local restaurant (rumors that Cameo had a Vodka tonic while
the student sipped a Roy Rogers can not be substantiated),
exchanged phone numbers, and agreed to “talk”. But during
the course of the meeting Cameo must have decided to do
something with her mouth than just talk, because they ended
up in the back of Patch’s car, where she yanked down his
underoos and proceeded to give him a blowjob.
Hot rating: Charming Cameo even
has a come-hither look in her mug shot. It’s kinda like
she’s saying, “Yeah, I blew him, and I was GOOD”. With an
attitude like that, how can you not give her a big 10.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANGELA COMER
Her age: 26
“Victim’s Age:14
Teacher’s curriculum: 8th grade math.
The lowdown: This wholesome looking, curly haired
blonde really went all out. What started as flirtatious
internet chat turned into a true “run for the border”. As
their hot antics progressed from intercourse to mutual oral
sex, they eventually fled Kentucky, after stealing $700 and
credit cards from the student’s grandma’s purse to help pay
for milk & cookies and gas, and drove to
Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, where they
were trying to get a marriage license when police finally
caught up with them.
Hot rating: Who would have
thought that the innocent faced blondie was not only into
screwing, sucking, and ripping off old women too! This is a
gal with moxy, by gosh. I was going to give her a 7, but my
own girlfriend, a hopeless romantic, insisted that the star
crossed lovers, on the lam to Mexico, were in fact a doomed,
post-modern, Amber alert dodging, Bonnie and Clyde. So let’s
bump her up to an 8 1/2.
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So there we go. Three more hot, on the
prowl, teachers who deserve our bronzed “Big Box Of Kleenex”
trophy. However, once again we have to wipe those silly
grins off our faces, and get those wild fantasies of what
we’d do if we found ourselves in a blissful situation
with Carrie, Cameo and Angela like those lucky little punks,
by remembering that there are some female teachers that we’d
RUN in terror from if they ever tried to open our zippers.
Therefore, we now give you this edition’s...
SLOBBERING SLUGS
AMY
BURKE
Her age: 32
“Victim’s” age: 13
Teacher’s curriculum:Sex education!
The lowdown: Bearing no
resemblance to afore mentioned (and hot!) Carrie McCandless,
this sour-puss who looks like she just spit out a foul load
of jism was also a physical education and cheerleading coach.
You’d figure that with those extra credentials, Burke
would be lezbo inclined, but instead she set her sites on
the boy, which led to sexual encounters that would make your
skin crawl. "She's a good girl, but she does her own
thing," her father said. ("Her thing" nearly made me hurl
when I read it, so, details have been mercifully omitted.)
Hot
rating: Despite my efforts to repress my gag reflex
while researching this one. She still earns a 1.
Because any thoughtful educator that goes out of her way to
usher a fresh faced young American into manhood, even
repulsive deviant and nightmare inducing as it may be, still
scores in our book!
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