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Are You Paranoid? -------------------Take this simple test to find out Read each question, then check the appropriate circle (Remember..there is no "Wrong" answer)

1.) You arrive at a store to do your shopping. One of those warehouse-type club stores, Home Depot, WalMart...it doesn't matter. After you park your car and walk towards the entrance to the store, you find yourself walking behind an older woman. She's heavy. She's REAL heavy. Real wide, too. One of those fat people who invariably have trouble walking. She waddles side-to-side. She has a walker and/or a cane. As you navigate the maze of shopping carts, vending machines and newspaper kiosks at the entrance, you just can't seem to find an opening wide enough to slip past her. She's hobbling along at a blazing rate of no more than 100 yards per hour and drifting randomly from right to left. Once into the store, among the crushing mass of shoppers, you still can't find an opportunity to shoot past her. The store occupies about 500,000 square feet of real estate and the item you came for is in Aisle "Z" at the far opposite end of the store. Question: Where is the fat lady headed? How should I know? Probably to the pharmacy aisle. She's just there to make a random purchase unrelated to yours. That fat bitch is heading to the exact same destination that you are and you know it! It would have taken you only 15 seconds to get your purchase and beat feet to the express register, but no. Instead you'll burn 30 goddamned minutes of your life to get to what you want while you putter along behind grandma. Thirty minutes of your life that you'll never, ever get back. You hope a pallet of 5 gallon paint buckets falls on her in 'Home Improvement'. Better yet, you could cave in the her skull with a spade shovel as you pass through garden equipment. Couldn't that little fuck of a grandson of hers run the errand for the old geezer? No! But, I bet he still wants his share of the fucking inheritance. Are there no nursing homes? Are there no crematoriums?

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