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Are You Paranoid? ----------------- Continue...

2.) The phone is ringing. Where is the cordless phone? On its cradle where it belongs Right next to me where it is most convenient No correct answer. This is a rhetorical question, right? Wherever you're NOT is the right fucking answer, isn't it? If you're in the attic, the cordless is in the basement. If you're in the basement, the goddamned thing is in the garage. Inevitably, the hard-wired wall phone is always the closest, isn't it? The only time the cordless phone is near you...or resting on your chest...is when you're trying to take a fucking nap and one of your kids left the ringer on "high" and you jump so goddamned high when it rings the fire department has to hose your corpse off the ceiling tiles. I'll fix those little shits! Wait'll I pack about 25 grams of C4 into the phones battery compartment and wire it to the ringer. The next time they punch *69...WHAM!

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