| TAXI'S LIL' SQUIRTS | OPIUM DEN | MEET HERB SMITHERS | JUNK TRUNK | ABOUT |
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Taxi's Little Squirts.. |
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As the illustration shows, ball-gags pretty much speak (or don’t speak) for themselves. They basically come with two types of balls… plastic or rubber… and several varieties of head-straps. For this review, I concentrated only on the gags themselves, and not the other paraphernalia and gear that general goes with it. Therefore, my lovely wife, Bingo, and I skipped the ass-showing leather chaps, studded collars, whips, and stiletto heels… I don’t recall the last time I snuck in for an inventory of Der Bingle’s lingerie drawer… so I went with a simple pair of boxer shorts for me and a short flannel nigh-shirt for her. Then, as Jackie Gleason used to say, “awwwway we go”… The gag with the plastic ball was first up… or in, I should say. Securing the strap around Bingo’s head while she was on her knees, I stuck the ball into her mouth. Lifting the flannel night-shirt to expose her hienie, I used my hand to give it several hard slaps while saying dirty things and exploring her various orifices with my hand. Her moaning began almost immediately. “A winner!” I thought as I gave her ass a few more smacks before leaning down, removing the gag, and saying, “so you liked that, ‘eh?”. She rapidly shook her head, no. “The plastic tasted awful”, she said. “I hated it”. Okay, so much for that one. We had a cigarette and turned on Leno for a few minutes, then hooked her up with the rubber gag, which caused a slight problem right from the start because I had a hard time pushing the ball into her mouth. But once in place, I repeated my despicable acts on her. Her reaction was this time was more… lively. Although the moaning took a little longer to start, her nubile body became more active, and she was twisting and turning at a wild pace. Satisfied, I waited a little longer before removing the ball-gag this time. As I mentioned, the rubber ball was a little larger than the plastic one, and it was only with some difficulty, and just as I began to entertain the idea of grabbing a pair of pliers to pry it out of her mouth, that I was able to gage her reaction… as she spit on the pillow and proclaimed, “I thought I was going to choke on my saliva. It sucked”. So unfortunately, I’m afraid I must give the ball-gag, both plastic and rubber, a thumbs down. Upon giving this sex toy further thought, it also occurred to me is that I like to clearly hear Bingo’s moaning and groaning as I send her into a state of sexual ecstasy. But all is not lost. What a ball-gag actually is perfect for is shoving into the mouths of people that REALLY need to shut the fuck up. People like… |
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BUSH: TALKS THRU HIS ASS ANYWAY, BUT IT GOES WELL WITH HIS SUIT. |
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PAT ROBERTSON: WONDER HOW HE’LL CHUG DOWN HIS JESUS JUICE HEAVY LIFTING ELIXER WITH THIS RUBBER BALL SHOVED IN HIS FACE! |
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JERRY FALWELL: DOES WEARING A COLORFUL ROUND BALL MAKE A GUY AS GAY AS A TELETUBBIE? |
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BILL O’REILLY: KEEP IT PITHY. STICK THE GAG IN HIS MOUTH AND SPIN IT. |
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PARIS HILTON: THERE’S SOMETHING ELSE I’D RATHER RAM INTO THIS DIMWIT’S MOUTH, BUT THE GAG WILL DO FOR NOW. |
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ANN COULTER: NOT ONLY SHOULD THE BABBLING BLONDE TRANNY BE FITTED WITH A GAG, BUT A BUTT PLUG AS WELL. SHE’S FULL OF SHIT. |
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SEAN HANNITY: PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR A GAG TO KEEP HIM FROM LICKING ANYMORE GOP ASS. |
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AND FINALLY, THE TRIAD OF SCREECHING BITCHES! |
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NANCY GRACE: IS THERE A BLINDFOLD WE CAN USE TO COVER THOSE SCARY EYES TOO? MYTH HAS IT THAT IF YOU STARE INTO THIS MEDUSA’S BLINDERS, YOU WILL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT. |
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RITA COSBY: THE GAG STAYS IN ‘TIL SHE LEARNS TO CLEAR HER THROAT.
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MICHELLE MALKIN: “ME ANNOY YOU LONG TIME”. NOT ANYMORE!
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